Paperweight
by musicchica10
Summary: Based on the song Paperweight by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk. One shot


She lay there watching him. She couldn't fall asleep and the night seemed to pass slowly. The way he sighed in his sleep made her smile. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, or rather dreaming about. It was always such a mystery to her what was going on inside his head. She often told herself that the mystery is what kept her so drawn to him, and that was partly true.

She thought back to all the other times that she would stare at her boyfriends while they slept, but nothing compared to the way she felt with this man, her husband, lying next to her asleep. This feeling she got, even though she has been with him for over a year, always seems like the first time. The first time when she saw his face when he looked into her room many years back.

"_Hey."_

"_Hey."_

"_I'm Rory." She smiled at him and watched as he entered her room._

"_Yeah I figured."_

"_Nice to meet you." She was being polite now, trying to see what kind of person he was. She watched as he walked over to her bookshelves, curious to see what he thought of her collection._

"_Wow aren't we hooked on phonics." He said._

"_Oh I read a lot. Do you read?" Now she really was curious, if he read, that means she would have something in common with him._

"_Not much." He turned to her, holding one of her books._

"_I could loan you that if you want. It's great."_

"_No thanks." He replied, setting down the book. She was a little disappointed, but figured maybe he read it._

"_Well if you change your mind…" Rory replied before being interrupted by her mom._

The sunrise would be starting soon, and her husband would be waking up. In fact, she would even go as far as calling him the sunrise. When he would wake up, all she would want to do is lay there with him, to make him laugh and smile, to mess up the sheets and find them in a pile on the floor while they laughed and enjoyed each other. She wanted him to be the one to mess up the bed with, to fix it, and to do it all over again. She wouldn't trade anything for this.

Every single word that he says, she feels like she should write them down. She believes that if she didn't, she would forget them come daylight. Although she knew that would never happen, she knew his words were so precious and dear to her that writing them down would be the best things she could do.

"_I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you." Jess replied._

"_You've read this before." It came out as a statement rather than a question._

"_About 40 times."_

"_I thought you said you didn't read much?" Rory asked accusingly._

"_Well what is much?" Jess shrugged and turned_

"_Goodnight Rory."_

"_Goodnight Dodger." _

"_Dodger?"_

"_Figure it out." Rory turned and smiled knowingly._

"_Oliver Twist!" Jess shouted to her as she walked away._

She felt him stir in his sleep, and she was happy to just laid there next to him, to be in his presence, to even know him. She knew her husband was no musician, but she knew that he would play a song for her, one he wrote, even if he felt that it was "cheesy." And after he played his song for her, he would kiss her, his taste lingering on her tongue.

Just like a paperweight, his presence would be felt on her back. Knowing that while they are both asleep, they will be next to each other. He was her blanket, and would cover her. A promise they both made to each other when they got married. They were each other's warmth and support.

She knew that she didn't have to worry with him around. She knew that he didn't have to wonder what's been on her mind, because he knew it is, and always will be him. He means so much to her, she often wonders if she can express it at all.

"_Jess, wait." Rory called after him._

_"We shouldn't have done this." Jess replied angrily.  
_

"_He's just in a bad mood lately."  
_

"_He's a jerk!" Jess emphatically replied.  
_

"_He was. In there, definitely. I'm so sorry." Rory tried apologizing for Logan.  
_

" _I read that guy the second I saw him. I should have begged off."_

"_Well, I didn't want you to!"  
_

"_He'd better not come out here." Jess looked at her, almost warning her that if he did, he wouldn't be in control of what happened._

_"Please, Jess. He had a lot to drink. He's tired from traveling. This isn't him. I swear." Rory was practically pleading, trying to justify Logan's actions.  
_

"_What the hell is going on?" Jess was angry now, and he wanted answers.  
_

"_I told you, he's tired! And his family's bugging him right now…"_

" _I mean, with you! What's going on with you?" Jess emphasized the word you, not caring about Logan one bit._

"_What do you mean?" Rory was confused now, but deep down she knew what he was talking about._

" _You know what I mean! I know you. I know you better than anyone! This isn't you." Jess was raising his voice now, not to yell at her, but to get his point across._

_"I don't know." Rory looked away, ashamed.  
_

"_What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place? Being in the D.A.R.? No Yale - why did you drop out of Yale?" Jess was so shocked that she would drop out of Yale, it was her dream, and just like that she threw it away. And for what? A guy?_

" _It's complicated!" Rory was getting defensive. Who was he to say anything?  
_

"_It's not! It's not complicated!" Jess was starting to get frustrated with her. This wasn't her, this wasn't 'his' Rory. She would never do this, and yet, here she was…_

_"You don't know!" Her protests were becoming weaker and weaker. The truth behind his words stinging her.  
_

"_This isn't you! This! You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this!"  
_

"_You caught him on a bad night."  
_

"_This isn't about him! Okay? Screw him! What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?" He was getting tired of trying to get something in her head, but he knew he had to try. For her. To save her. He loved her after all.  
_

"_I don't know... I don't know." Those three words scared both of them. _

She remembers the time when she first gave up and let him win. She let him in knowing the risk that came with it. She counted all the times they both failed in each other's lives and hurt each other, but when she finally decided to give up and let him in, she stopped keeping track of all the times they hurt each other.

_Rory heard that Jess was going to be in town. She didn't know how to feel or react, especially since the last time she saw him things didn't end too well. She was pretty sure that she hurt him more than he had ever hurt her, and she was afraid that he wouldn't want to see her again._

"_Rory!" Lorelai called from upstairs._

"_Yeah mom? I'm coming." Rory ran up the stairs, wondering what her mom could be wanting at this moment._

"_Hon, I need help finding an outfit for tonight." Lorelai was scrambling around the room trying to find something to wear, and collapsing onto the bed in an overly dramatic way._

"_Calm down mom. Where are you going and what do you guys plan on doing tonight?" Rory stared sorting through the clothes._

"_Well we are going to dinner, Luke didn't really say where, but he did say to dress nice. But what exactly is nice? Is it formal nice, or casual nice, or hey tonight's gonna be a fun night so dress nicely so I can undress you nice?" _

"_Ok that was so not something I needed to hear, but if Luke said nice, then just wear your black dress with the low cut. Not the one that would give grandma a heart attack, but the nice one that you would wear to an even at the Dragonfly Inn." Rory reasoned and pulled out the dress._

"_Oh hunny! You are a lifesaver! You truly are my daughter!" Lorelai jumped up and started getting ready._

"_So uh, who's running the diner tonight if Luke is gone?" Rory asked not so innocently._

_Lorelai walked out of the closet and looked at Rory, unsure of whether or not she should tell her daughter the truth or lie to her._

"_Um. Jess is. Didn't I tell you?" Lorelai asked._

"_No, it slipped your mind I guess." Rory looked down uncomfortably._

"_You're gonna be fine right sweets?" She put a reassuring hand on her daughter's arm._

"_Yeah I will be. You two go tonight and have a good time." Rory looked up and smiled._

"_Ok." Lorelai sighed. She really hoped that things wouldn't turn out badly this time._

_An hour later, a nervous Rory was pacing back and forth in front of the diner. She didn't know what she would say or do. Should she go in and talk, will he talk? Should she apologize? Should she kiss him? _

_Jess looked up and saw Rory pacing nervously in front of the diner. He couldn't help but smirk at her predictability, but a sudden pang of fear and anger hit him and he frowned. What could she possibly want? Wasn't she with that blonde guy?_

_Rory looked up to find Jess studying her. She blushed and looked down, but finally decided to walk in and see how things went from there._

"_Hey." She whispered._

"_Hey yourself." He replied, trying to put on a smile, but failing._

_Rory noticed this and looked away, feeling that her choice to come see him was a huge mistake._

"_I uh, wanted to come say hi and see how you were. It's been a while." She was beating around the bush now, she figured staying off any type of serious conversation was better than jumping into one._

"_What are you doing here Rory? For real." Jess blurted out, wanting to get straight to the point._

"_I…I…" She sighed, "I don't know. I wanted to see you. To apologize. It's just that…I, maybe this was a mistake." Rory started to cry and ran out of the diner._

_Jess sighed and grabbed his coat, running after her._

"_Rory! Rory wait!" Jess caught up to her and grabbed her arm gently._

_Rory was sniffling, trying to keep the imminent tears from falling, but failing. _

"_I love you Jess, I always have and always will. I lied to you when I told you that I was in love with Logan, I was scared of the truth and what could happen between us. So I lied. And then he proposed and I turned him down. And now all I can do is hope for us to be." _

_Jess smiled. He had been waiting to hear those words from her since he left her dorm so many years before._

"_Rory, you know how I feel, but we are different. How can we expect something that may not work if we are two different people than we were?"_

"_But we can make it work! We know each other better than anyone! You even said so yourself! Jess please!" Rory sobbed._

_Jess looked down and smiled. Maybe it was cruel to be pushing her like this, but he needed to be sure this was real._

"_Ok." Was his simple reply._

_She looked up, shocked. Did he really just say what she thought he did? Looking into his eyes, she could tell that he was being honest. She smiled and jumped into his arms, clinging onto him as if he were to disappear any minute now. _

_He wrapped his arms around her carefully, then pulled her closer to him, giving her the sense of security she needed. She looked up at him, with tears in her eyes and smiled. She slowly moved her head closer to his and kissed him. The kiss was soft and gentle, but soon grew hot and passionate._

"_Jess?" Rory panted between kisses._

"_Huh?" was all Jess could say._

"_Could we maybe move this somewhere more private?" Rory asked, guiding him to her house, which was just a few feet away._

"_Uh huh." Jess kissed her again._

_They stumbled into the house and closed the door. Soon clothing was scattered on the floor, and their first time together was something that neither of them could have imagined. _

"Rory?" Jess sleepily asked, feeling around for her.

"I'm right here." Rory whispered back to him, crawling close to him and snuggling into him.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, with one eye open.

"No, I'm not tired, and it's peaceful to watch you sleep." Rory giggled.

"That's a little creepy don't you think?" Jess joked, but pulled her closer.

"Just call me your personal stalker."

"Stalker sounds like a creeper, can't you pick something else? More of a name that fits you. Like, I don't know, beautiful?"

"Aww, my husband is a softie." Rory cooed.

"Shh, I have a rep to protect, this cannot leave the bedroom."

"Dirty." Rory whispered.

"I should have known that was coming." Jess groaned playfully.

"Well I have learned from the best."

"Thanks." Jess smirked.

"I was talking about my mom!" Rory replied.

"Ouch, you hurt me Gilmore."

"Mariano. I'm Mariano now, remember?"

"How could I forget." Jess whispered, kissing Rory softly on the nose. "How about we go back to bed now, the sun isn't out yet, and I may turn into dust before the sun is out. You know how much I hate to be up before the sun."

"You and me both." Rory giggled. "Yeah, let's go back to bed…unless you have any other ideas." Rory winked.

"Don't tempt me. You know how much I love that." Jess smirked.

"Pig."

"Hey! You're the one who brought it up!" Jess defended.

"Haha! Again I learn from the best!" Rory leaned in and kissed Jess, pulling the covers over both of them and snuggling into him. She sighed in contentment and found Jess' hand, pulling it over her and laced their fingers together.

"You know, I could get used to this." Jess whispered into her ear.

"Well you better enjoy it now, cuz in a few months, this won't be so easy anymore."

"I know, but even then we can still enjoy it."

"Jess, I'll be fat…" Rory protested.

"You won't be fat, we've been through this. You'll be pregnant, there's a difference. Well you are pregnant now, but you know what I mean."

"Will you still love me?" Rory questioned silently.

"Ror, how could you even ask that, you know I will…you're carrying my child, you're my wife, I married you remember. And this new addition is only going to make me love you more. I hope you know that. And I wish I could get that across to you." Jess kissed her tenderly and hugged her closer, placing their laced hands on her stomach, rubbing it gently.

Rory sighed and closed her eyes, knowing that he was right.

"I love you Jess."

"I love you too, both of you." He kissed her again. "Now go to sleep, you, we need rest…"

"Mhmm." Rory mumbled.

Jess watched her, glad that she finally fell back asleep. He knew that her sleeping patterns had been affected greatly since the pregnancy started. He looked at her, wondering what she was dreaming about, and smiled. Wrapping his arm around her securely, he laid down knowing that they were both safe.


End file.
